i just wanna blurt out my slur

i've managed to let go many things last year including the biggest relationship of my life so far

but today i realise i need to let go of something i know i cannot get

as i sit here watching the rain with my cigarette in one hand a beer in another looking at the effort scale of my entire life.

realizing who is dependable and who you can speak to no matter what your deepest darkest secrets are and no matter the distance or how long it has been you dont realise this separation as if you last met yesterday, without having to ask my favorite question of whats new?

then you see that life, its a forward momentum certain things are inevitable

putting too much effort into things i know wont be mine is totally a waste of time.

i should just let things be as they are and don't expect anything out of anyone.

needless to say i have some unusual habits,

yet these socially acceptable people can't wait to pick up hammers and smash their food to bits.