i'm just so sigh.. its like never ending for me. i cant stand listening to freaking crap and excuses. i dont know if this is even worth it. I'm just so tired of this crap.

i'm tired of wroking my ass off then when i finally have enough ..i will have to pay off some crap loan or someone elses crapy problems.

i work very hard to maintain the life i want to live but everytime i reach the freaking door it just shuts again.

There's a lot to say but i really nvr say much already. if i really were to say everything out seriously no one would be able to handle this. whatever i tell anyone is just a quater of what is really going on in my freaking life. honestly no one knows anything about anything thats really going on because i feel there is no point telling every single thing that will affect each and every one of you.

Fuck this seriously. Really fuck i'm only freaking 22, i should be sitting around doing what every other 22 year old is doing... I should be fucking my life over and doing every mistake i can..instead every single freaking day i'm just praying that i dont go into another mistake that will fuck you over. my whole life i spend enough of my time correcting ur mistakes.

THIS IS NOT MY CHOICE OK IT WAS UR CHOICE FOR ME. NOW I CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN THIS SHIT AND MY FREAKING LIFE AND I STILL CHOOSE TO PICK UP UR SHIT. for u to say why we blame u makes me fucking sad. its because u chose us and its ur freaking responsibility. if you didnt want it you should have just walked out when you could.

dont tell me its because i chose the hardest road, (there is nothing wrong for wanting the best for myself) even if i chose the easiest way, and did it back home i will still be working my ass off to pay off every single thing.. do you think u will be able to give me 1k a month to live my local life and pay rent back home? oh i doubt it..

you know whats the worst part? until today, its been 3 years and you dont need provide for me or even him, yet you cant save a cent to put her into college. if you saved 100 bucks for 3 years you would have 3.6k today to put her into at least a local course yet ...what do you say? oh.. if i pay for the fees then u will pay for the books.. FUCK THAT SHIT.... u know the saddest part? u cant even pay for ur own ticket to see your kid graduate..

i gave up my whole teenage years for this. i have no life, i seriously dont have a life, i dont have the drive to even talk to people anymore, i just sit and just stare at the freaking sky because i feel so fucking tired of this.


I am this close to walking away.

I'm so fucking disappointed.

i dont need pity or anything like that.